Another Fight

Why do we have to fight like this every time?

I started the fight actually.

I am always the fire matcher.

Is it really my problem?

This isn't what I want.

It's still the same.

I asked for too much.

What is it on earth so hard for you guys to treat a lady like a lady?

I just want you to be more attentive

to care more about me.

Every time you say you love me

I really hope you mean it.

Cause you would throw me a glance like you're going to kill me.

It's scary.

You really freaked me out

Do you know that?

Maybe I was really wrong,

but you acted like I murdered your whole family.

Why?

It's hurt, I know

I get mad every time you get mad.

I follow.

I would have talk like crazy with sharp knife on my words

and stab your heart accidentally that I wouldn't know how much it really hurts.

I was just like this since forever, and I don't know why.

I am sorry.

Thousand apologies.

I repeated my mistake, as usual

Why am I always trying to protect but instead, I hurt somebody else that I care?

Am I really being childish that I can't control myself?

I just want your eyes to be on me.

I just wanted to be like a baby princess being held in the arms like a pearl

Yes, treat me like a precious pearl

And, yes, I think I am worth to be a pearl.

Every time you say you did a lot of things for me,

sorry, I can't see anything.

Define a lot please.

I tidied your house almost every day

I prepare drinking water every day just to keep you away from thirst

I buy fruits, cut, and even feed you with it

I hang your clothes every day

even I am in real tired mode

But you bring back sands every day

Throw your clothes all around the floor that I have to pick them up one by one

Turn on your computer and play the football game everyday

Playing with your 'turbo sports car'

and then you will remind me to full body massage you.

Sorry that I nag so much

Sorry that I complain so much

and sorry

I don't know what you actually done for me.

You would say

I bring you to breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day

I bring you to movie, club, KL, and every where

What else?

Sorry, I can just remember these.

Do you remember that day you went to the mini market for like 15 mins plus.

I waited for you in the car

and you showed up with a big plastic bag after 15mins plus

you said

"See what I bought for you !"

And then you started taking things out from the plastic bag one by one

"I bought you some biscuits, bread for your breakfast"

"A very big bottle of family use body shampoo"

"Toothpaste ! Remember we didn't brush for 2 days, Oh no ! Haha"

"And owh, herbal tea, to boost your every day"

Do you know how sweet you were?

I was just going to say how much I love you

and how much you are worth for my love

This is simple

This is just what I want every day

It just simply define "I did a lot of things for you"

Please, don't we quarrel anymore.

曲终人散

两个月多了

我们是真的分开了

虽然心里一直都在想你

但是 我清楚知道我们不可能了

虽然，也总是觉得在未来的日子里

我们也许还有机会

但是这个想法确实会伤害我们三个

要是我一直这样下去

我不会真正爱他

我也永远戒不掉对你的习惯

这样，

对你们都很不公平

我知道

我凭什么来拖着你们两个？

这两个月里

我几乎每天都在想

我这样的选择到底是对错

今天

我终于要对自己说

既然都做了决定就不应该后悔

不应该再犹豫了

大不了两个都不要

我不应该再想你了

不应该再常常把你挂在嘴边

不应该拿你出来做比较

我已经没有再依恋的借口

那一刻，我转身的时候

就不应该想再一次拉住你的手

那天，你的脸有几分憔悴

你的眼有残留的泪

我不会忘了

因为那是我造成的

要是我真的爱你，

就不该象过去那样用双手紧紧把你环绕

放你走

让你找到比我更适合你的

让你不再为我流泪

让另一个她把你遗失的笑容找回

曾经幸福的，痛苦的

该你的，该我的

到此一笔勾销

我是真的希望

你可以再一次

幸福的，开心的

对着我，笑...

我不会忘了我们曾经一起拥有的回忆

你永远会在我心底...

Fear from the Bottom of My Heart

I just don't know why.

You are now drinking.

I am supposed to believe in you.

But I am scared.

I don't trust you.

In other words, I don't trust those alcohols.

You were so drunk when I last saw you drinking with your cousins.

I don't know why guys life should be this way.

Drinking is like everything to y'all.

You knew you would do anything when you were drunk.

And, you would never know when you are going to be drunk.

You just gonna keep drinking until you don't know what you're doing.

How can I trust you?

I don't know why.

I feel like crying right now.

Tears filled my eyes.

I shouldn't be this skeptical.

If I keep being like this,

in the end you'll just gonna throw me away.

I just don't feel safe at all.

Seriously,

I hope you wouldn't hide anything from me.

But on the other hand,

I don't know how much I can take it.

My heart is soring.

I am not okay.

I cannot stop imagine the picture of you drinking with girls around.

I am so being a worried pity wife here.

And I super hate myself being like this.

Why?

I am worry, yea.

I am not feeling safe.

So?

I can't tell you.

I don't want to be a frightened little girl in front of you.

In fact, I am.

And I am pretending,

which suffer really a lot.

I don't know how to reply your message.

Cause you are acting like

"I am busy drinking, talk fast"

I was just gonna say,

"Please don't take any drugs, and be careful"

Do you know how hurt it is when your cousin asked you inside

and you just gonna cut the line immediately.

I was imagining, you're rushing back inside to sexy girls.

I know you would say

"Please don't think too much, please"

"Yes, I think a lot, that is because you didn't make me trust you"

Maybe yea, you love me,

but you'll just gonna do some mistake

How do you think those affairs come from?

You always show up in discos every time I am not with you

What's the problem actually?

Why so desperate?

You can say no if you want.

Remember:

"There's nothing about can or cannot, it's about you want it or not"

Frankly speaking

I am not trusting you.

Sorry.

Tetris Fight

It's funny .

We fight over tetris.

I don't know how it started.

But we just started to yell each other during the battle.

Maybe I randomly said something offended you

But I didn't mean it.

It's just a game !

Win or lose, so WHAT?

Are there any prizes?

That's what I'm gonna say.

I don't know why you felt like offended.

You just shouldn't be so rude to me.

I'll never forgot how the words came out from your lips.

It hurts.

The Gap 1822

How do I actually have to start this post.

I don't know.

I feel down.

We talked so many times.

Conclusion : We're not on the same side

You are way too matured.

I am the opposition.

Although I don't look like really 18.

But, somehow, I actually can be like 20.

Still, not 22.

Still, middle of 4 years.

Age gap. The severe problem of us.

Although you are 22. But you, too, don't look like one.

You are just more than that.

You always think I am naive.

You always think everything I do is a mistake.

You always try to correct me.

And these, made me feel so... *I can't find a word*

You are looking down at me.

and you know, I don't like it.

Anyway, you're right.

I am still in the life I used to live with.

Life with Hong.

Life like how he agreed everything I commented.

Agreed everything I was about to do.

It can't be denied that, he was a good supporter of mine.

I was too attached with this feeling.

I like to be hoped.

Like anything happen, I am the one that gonna solve things calmly.

I know, this is stress !

I complained before.

And now, I don't know why, I complain again.

Duh.

Why does life has to be this complicated?

I tried to explain how I really think about.

You just have your own opinion.

I just think you should have guided me.

You went thru this phase.

Maybe you should give in a little to me.

You should treat me like you used to be.

You know what?

I felt offended when you said,

"Hong has spoiled you, you'll never grow up if I spoil you like he did"

WTF?!

Spoil?

I doubt.

It was how sweet and you did not know a thing.

C'mon. He was just being caring.

Maybe we're just not in the same phase but you shouldn't say like this.

Everybody has their different kind of method to show love.

Everything we did for love is not considered a mistake.

It's what we did with feelings.

Maybe you will deny this sentence again

I guess you will say

"Feelings without rational is still not considered a thing"

"You should have thought wisely"

"You never know why when you're not at my phase even I explained hard"

I am thinking these problems.

Are we too fast.

There are these thoughts from friends

"Nothing about fast or not, just follow your feelings"

"Feelings always make the start"

"We're still young, why consider so much?"

Haih.

See?

This is what will happen when you did not consider.

What should I do now.

Feeling says : Don't leave him, you have feelings.

Rational says : You should take a break before you start a new relationship. Clear your minds before you gonna add in something new. At least your mind wouldn't be messed up.

Haih......

Sungkai Hot Spring

It was really a very wonderful trip I had today.

The most memorable day in Kampar.

Never thought Kampar wouldn't be this boring.

Credits to 承宗哥 !

*Damn er xin right?*

My life would never be this fun if I never met you.

But too bad, I don't have a proper camera

and again, I missed all those fun parts.

Seriously,

camera needed.

Anyway, I still got some before we left.

Then it would be all about my description of the whole trip.

We started our journey @ 4.30pm

with eggs and everything readied.

Please don't be curious about the eggs.

It was the funniest part of the whole trip! :D

Then it started to rain along our journey.

First thought in our mind

"We'll never gonna have fun today"

Problems:

1. Public holiday wor, got open or not ehhh?

2. Raining wor, still can let us get in or not? :S

"Cham lar ! Traffic jam some more!"

WTF!

We were so like disappointed when the rain never got lighter as we got nearer

We prayed, so hard.

And ta-daaa !

We arrived at 6.15pm

*Imagine how long have we stucked in the car*

Still, non-stop raining :S

BUT, tickets are still on sale !

Ha ha !

Everything worth back !

The environment was really so relaxing.

I almost fell in love and almost gonna stay there forever.

*exaggerating, as that was really AWESOME*

The spring was really heating, my skin burned

Not actually burned,

It just turned pink !

It was like about 40-50 celcius degree

Took us a few mins to finally get into the pool

Seriously, you don't wanna get out of the pool if you don't feel dizzy.

Soothing enough for you to actually sleep inside the pool

Pros and cons,

Once there's Malays, there will be nothing about cleanliness.

Hmph !

Nevermind, we leave them aside will do.

Don't get affected by them.

You still need to get into the pool

Awww !

Now, the eggs part.

Guess what have we done to the eggs?

20 eggs brought, by the way :D

Ohh, and kicap brought too !

Ans: Boil eggs in the spring :)

2mins -- 1/4 boiled eggs

3-mins -- Half boiled eggs

5-7mins -- Full boiled eggs

They were just so tasty !

Nothing ordinary like we usually boil the eggs.

Feel like going back d

*Slurp* ;P

We stood there for quite a while,

Busy cracking those eggs slowly and carefully

Don't wanna waste any of the eggs.

20 eggs for 5 persons.

It was just enough.

I swear we will bring more during our next visit :D

--- 8pm ++ ---

Time to go home.

Ivan lost his slippers !

One of his slippers actually.

Don't know which sor hai took only one of his slippers

Bodoh..

He borrowed mine.

And that's what made me laugh like hell !

See what it looked like....

Hahahahahahaahahahahaha !

"Nger nger fit in !"

Next funniest point.

Awww...

Laurance so pity, he can't get to sleep

Reason : "I scared if I fell asleep, I would have kissed him, and it looks so gay !"

Hahahahaha

End of the day,

end of the trip.

Looking forward for our next trip

Cameron Highlands :D

"Your existence, my source of happiness"

<3

To-Buy List

So many things I wish to buy.

So much money needed to be saved.

Should really seek for more part time jobs already.

Should save more money to my Maybank account already.

Hmph !

To-buy list:

1. CAMERA

- I don't wanna missed any more minutes of my uni life.

2. SPORT SHOES

-Going so much for badminton recently, should really buy a proper shoes instead of my super hard CONVERSE shoes.

3. SPORT SUITES

-Since going so much for sports, nicer and proper wear is needed as well.

4. Bras

- It's weird to have this on the list, but I really wanted to have a few more sexy bras in my closet :D

5. Iphone

- The toughest task to achieve. But still will give a try

6. Tint Film for Fat Lady

- Gonna stick something to protect my skin on my fat lady (Waja)

These are what on my mind for now only

I think there are still a few things to be listed.

Can't remember.

Of course, I kinda hope I do not have to buy all these by myself?

Haha

Looking for sponsors.

Half of the price also 'kill' !

Haha

You Are The Reason

I think this is gonna be a new relationship.

It's fast, I know.

But, who can resist when it comes to feelings.

We always defeated by feelings.

Feelings always drag us along our life.

It's fact.

I know it might seem weird,

or might be inappropriate to the others

As I just ended one, and started another within 1-2 weeks.

Don't ask me why, don't ask me how.

It just came.

He just appears.

Perhaps, I was seeking someone to accompany?

But who knows?

Days passed, another month is coming soon

I am about to fall in love,

To him.

A surprising sentence just dropped off from my lips this morning.

I told him

"I love you"

and I pressed my lips on his.

I smiled as usual, with feelings, of course.

I surprised him, like myself surprised.

I smiled, still.

Looking into his eyes.

Wondering my words.

My responsibility to the sentence.

Are they true?

He was asking the same question.

I stunned.

It might be true.

It might be a feeling-drag

I am not sure.

But I felt sweetness from the bottom of my heart.

I feel happiness, that has been long lost.

I feel like not anymore alone.

Protected by some kind of unseen objects.

You are the reason why I felt these.

You are the reason why I like this feeling being together with you.

I feel so secured being with you.

I do not have to face so many things by myself anymore.

As long as I have you to help me solve my thousands problems.

You are just so capable in sharing all my thoughts.

This is the life I actually wanted like forever.

Find a guy that he loves you, you love him.

And he gives future, he gives secured promises.

The most important,

He is capable in giving you a happy, and a safe family.

All of these might be my own hallucination

Might be what I build up myself

as I wanted these so badly.

I almost hope myself to drown inside

I almost wanted to say

"I love you"

every time you kissed me.

:)

Though, it's not time yet.

You said,

"I felt like poisoned by you already"

Then I replied,

"Don't worry, I am the antidote, I won't let you die nor leave me"

:)

All I can ever do

Late night.

Mask-ing.

Wondering.

What are you doing?

Wondering.

I called.

You picked.

You were just so different.

You were just so happy.

You were just like nothing happened.

You lived your life.

I tell myself.

"Nevermind, I'll get used to it"

I...

Just not anymore in you.

You are on your own

and so do I.

All I can ever do,

let you go,

let you live your life,

never bother,

never, anymore.

As long as

Never thought I would still care.

Saw your pictures.

Saw how happy you were.

Kinda hope I was with you.

Kinda like wanna stand beside you.

I don't know what's wrong.

But I know, you do it on purpose.

And I admit, the post I wrote, was a bit on purpose too.

Seriously,

I felt like wanna smell you all over again.

Anyway,

As long as you are really happy.

As long as you can get over me.

As long as,

You were the one I loved before.

And

As long as,

I was also the one you loved so much.

I miss you.

Goodbye. Farewell.

Just ended what I've been so protecting once upon a time.

Never felt regret as I think it's the only choice that I could make.

I didn't end it so irresponsible,

Instead,

We talked.

We discussed.

After all,

We can still be friend.

I think this is the macho part.

Where we still can be best friend.

I'm not gonna say

"Let's broke up, because I don't love you anymore"

That's super irresponsible.

What actually surprised me was,

I didn't cry.

I didn't respond when he says "I love you"

I can't feel a thing

*Sorry*

Maybe, it's really time,

it's what that should be done right now.

He acted sad at first.

He begged.

And then,

He laughed, starting to understand.

Perhaps, he might felt the same way I felt

We were just not suitable anymore

Being together will just suffer both of us.

I am glad, and pleasant

cause he finally actually understand the statement

I need not explain and explain again as usual

which is really annoying.

I found that he is sexy when he acted like a macho guy.

He says "Can we still be friend?"

"Are we still going to talk?"

I smiled.

"Of course we will."

All that ever held me back was always his family.

They were really like my family

and I really don't feel happy losing a family,

where I actually cherish, and appreciate.

I never wanted to lose them.

But, there's nothing I can do.

I can never be like going to their house and celebrate every events anymore.

Never going for road trips anymore.

Never be invited to any party anymore.

Yea, that's what that holding me back.

I don't want to lose them.

Still,

Everything follows.

I lost them, like forever.

Repeats

Never thought this would happen again.

Never thought I would be the one who is going to end this.

Never thought, this is what my decision

and I also never thought,

I didn't tears a bit.

Things never gone well since I studied here

and that was already one year and a half

We were always so suffered

I mean,

Me, especially me

I suffered

And,

Things never gone well since you started your career.

You changed

and, I can't accept the fact.

You went so different ever since you worked.

We, went differently, too

You never thought of me anymore.

You never remember me.

You never remember what I said even you were just so near

Distance is not the problem.

We travelled 2 hours to meet each other whenever we can

Ahem, I mean, last time

but not now

You are not anymore I know the most

You are so strange to me right now

I never gonna understand you anymore.

I don't know what happened,

I tried to save

I tried so much to maintain everything that is needed

I know distance is hard

and that's why,

I've been called like a "kid" that always needed you to accompany.

This is the problem that's been in between us

You chose, you made your decision,

you chose your stupid job over me

and now, I made my own choice too,

I chose the one that could take care of me and really treat me like a lady.

I know,

It is my fault,

it's always my fault when I chose to let go

我是女孩。

我希望有人疼爱，有人包容，有人让我撒娇

有人能陪在我身边，有人喜欢带我去逛街，

有人乐意带我去世界各地也在所不辞

我是女孩，

我希望有人记得每天和我说晚安

有人记得我们过去的点滴

有人决不把承诺作儿戏。

我是女孩，

希望有人好好爱我，有人惦记我，在我郁闷大哭的时候把我的头按在胸膛里。

I am just so normal.

I am just so needed to be cared.

I am just so simple.

I am just a girl, who needs love.

I FAILED

I am so going to remember this result FOREVER.

I seriously damaged inside when I saw this stupid sheet of result.

Never failed before

This is the first time in my lifetime on the first semester of my degree

I feel so ashame right now

But nothing's gonna change the fact that I failed

I was not going to accept the reality before I view my result from portal.

Acted like a total freak

Avoiding from UTAR website

Purpose : Hope for something good

Yes, you can say that I actually estimated failure

No, I still hope for the good side, maybe something that surprise me

But, in the end, I failed.

I stunned in front of my computer for 10mins ++

I barely move

Just keep my eyes on the computer screen

Crazily hoping for it to change

It doesn't

It remained the same during that 10mins

And it's clearly a fact that even how much I wouldn't want to know

What am I gonna do right now?

For the first time I've ever failed any subjects

I really don't know what I should do right now

Feels hurt deep down in my heart

Feels guilty, too.

I should have done better !

I shouldn't have taken this kind of result where no A+ appears

Wonder when will I actually realize I've been gone for so long

I've changed

No longer that secondary one

Craving for As

Instead, I am hoping for a C

I mean, what's wrong with me !

What have gone to my mind?

Have I gone insane?

The result is my future man

You don't really have much money to fail like this

You can't afford the failure

Never !

How is your mother going to pay an extra RM1600++ for you to repeat your mistake?

Think seriously,

You've been acted so richy since you've gone to uni

That's all?

Are you really a rich one?

Haiz

What am I gonna do?

*STUNNED AGAIN*

PLAN YOUR SCHEDULE !

YOU IDIOT !

Admire

I always admire those gorgeous, intelligent and very powerful women

I mean girls, but it don't look powerful when I say powerful girls.

Girls are mean to be like gossip

Never a gossip woman huh?

Xiaxue is one of my admired idols

I always wanted to be like her

Travel over countries

Even social over the world

Know a lot of awesome people

She is fantastic

I really really hope I could be like her

Earning by only blogging

Then you can have flexible time to do whatever you want

and in the meantime you're earning US dollar.

I can't think of what kind of job can be like this if it is not by blogging

I am sucks

I can't even actually post up my pictures

Even don't have perfect camera to capture those perfect scene

I always wanted to buy a DSLR

I even wanted to be a photographer

Uhm, I mean a part time one

I have loads of mission to be done

Yet, I am stucked in a university

Cause I don't have money

Shortcut to be wealthy : Study degree and get master

Is it possible?

Still in question that has no solution.

How bad it is.

One thing of me is, lazy.

Being a famous, I mean a person that is favorable to anyone else

Is, you have to be really hardwork

Plus, gifted intelligent

I don't have gifted intelligent

And I am lazy

How to be a successful woman then?

Crap !

I was with a friend called Sue Lyn once awhile

She is the type like xiaxue

Sociable, interesting, favorable, knowledgeable

She often shares her experience to peoples around her

and peoples always find that interesting

This is what hard to achieve

I never gonna be favorable :(

How sad.

Sob

Somebody admire me pleaseee.

Twitter Beginner

Just signed up an account in twitter

As what my friend Kalvyn introduced,

"Twitter is like you can have everything you want, it's super duper fun, go play go play !"

I think he means, you can post anything you want?

*Skeptical eyes*

HAHAs

I started to feel curious about what he said earlier

and went to create one

I am way too noob to explore something new

The functions, those posts, follows and etc.

But cannot be denied that twitter is easier than facebook

So it's actually better than you just going to start facebook

I think this is why twitter is popular

that they even promoted in Grey's Anatomy

where Dr.Bailey used twitter to post her surgeries.

Anyway, still discovering it's max function :D

HAPPY TWITTER-DISCOVER TO MYSELF :D

https://twitter.com/#!/ARIEL_YEN

My twitter account

Follow me :)

In Love With You Again

I've been working so hard on studies recently.

I don't know why.

I've been feeling bored on my lappy?

I'm sure that you are guessing why the title of this post doesn't fit the body.

In fact,

Yes, I'm in love with my studies all over again.

Forgotten how much happiness I had everytime I studied all chapters.

It does make me so damn happy and relaxed after I forced myself to.

For this long time,

I've been watching movie in no time,

but then, none of these times make me really felt relaxed.

I guess I'm doing something right.

I should do something for myself.

I should live for myself.

Shouldn't just feeling sad for something that pulling us apart.

Forcing we both to do something to change the freaking true facts.

I don't know how come I acted like this.

I just want you to be with me.

You know what?

I'm facing a lot of things.

The only one that I hope to tell, to share, to discuss or maybe to throw it to,

is not with me, though.

It's been awhile I acted like a pessimist.

I felt lost without you.

Always thought why aren't you here?

Always thought you'll always here whenever I need you,

even though I don't need you.

Well, that's alright.

In this tug of war, you have your reason to be the winner.

Just feed our head with all gravels.

Perhaps, it'll let us both feel better.

What to do?

Eventually,

still the same, like normal, like an idiot.

Since I'm The Lucky Number One.

Things went nervous when I knew I am going to be the first one give speech.

I was like...

S.H.I.T.

I started to blame how come my name starts with an A.

I am the 1st one on the list.

--Duh--

How how how?

I am super duper scared !

And so, I made 3 times of practice already.

Wish me luck on Monday.

@#$ I close my eyes, and I can see a better day @#$

%^& I close my eyes and pray %^&

Valentine's Babehs

So unfortunately, all my pictures are with my dear.

Hmm. But I don't wana forget this precious moment.

Even a second.

10.2.2011

I came back from kampar.

Though I always will live at his house for one or 2 days first.

But this time, feel like guilty, so I went home first.

But then it was "Ti Kong Tua"

Hong's family is having some praying ceremony.

So, I followed.

And I know, it would be late.

Then, I bring my own clothes there too.

But *shhhhh no one knows I was purposely*.

Hahaha

Anyway, it comes to helping his mom this and that until the clock ticks to 12am.

Everybody is playing fireworks,

and so are we =)

Well,

let's back to the point.

This is when my dearest husband dragged me to his room

=D

Oops, nothing happen, think straight please

=D

What happened was, he opened his closet and take out a box.

Which was wrapped with beautiful wrappings,

pink in colour, cute bears and butterflies on it.

Aww.. I knew it..

He will remember.

But don't you think this is too much earlier?? I asked him.

I can't wait to see you smile already. That's what he told me while he was smiling.

How can I not to happy?

I quickly jumped to his bed, lying my chest on a pillow

and try to maintain the mysterious feel and thoughts.

What's inside the box, actually?

I shook the box, trying to guess depends on the sound from the box.

No sound.

Weight it with my hands trying to feel it's weight.

So light...

What could it be?

And then, ahhh..

I couldn't wait anymore.

So, I broke the mysterious scenario.

Started to tear the tapes one by one not to cause any damage on the wrappers.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ta-Dah !!!

It's an anti-scratch, steel made, and a very light WATCH.

*I put it in pink, because my mood is pink! *

Oh gosh !

I like it so much, dear !

How much you spent?

Where did you get those money?

When did you buy it? How could I didn't notice?

Oh god oh god...

I have too many questions !

So, do you like it? He asked and touched my dry hair.

I nodded so happily and touched his lips with mine.

Dear, you're wonderful, I seriously in love with this watch

which, I didn't wear something with brands before.

Though this is not what famous one,

but I know, you must have chose for a long time

calculating your budgets, figuring my style and so on..

Thanks dear,

I really appreciate =)

14.2.11

This is what every couple is waiting for.

Hong came to my house early in the morning,

knocking an unanswered door.

Kept ringing an unanswered phone.

Gosh.

The pig is still in her dream !

Don't know why, a strange feeling just woke me up.

I jump-start myself and ran out to reach the door.

Dear was already walking in from my gate.

SO SO SO SORRY !

It's already 11++.

I'm on it I'm on it.

Give me 10mins to bath !

Shaahh Shuuhuu

!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*(!@#$%^&*

Finally done.

Let's go !

Which car you driving here?

Wira.

Haha, I told you your mom wouldn't let you drive Vios.

While I was looking for Wira,

dear was heading to a Vios.

Wei ~ Bluff me ah huh?

Blek @#$%

So, we went to INTI for herbalife.

Afterwards,

straight to Queens.

Nothing special actually,

just like most of the couples do.

We watched movie, we walked, we talked, we got massage on the rest and go Gintell seats

Capturing pictures.

And, dinner time !

So, dear, what's the plan next?

Uhm. What plan?

Huh??? Don't tell me you didn't plan anything for Valentines' dinner?!

Shit, you really didn't plan

=(

I plan then.

But all romantic restaurants was fully-booked.

We have nowhere to go.

And then my dear kept saying sorry, stupidly ~

Eventually,

we still ended up in a Japanese restaurant at P.Tikus.

It's delicious though.

Delighted our mood back.

If not, hmm wuwu, Valentine's gotta be wasted.

Thought it was not special to outsiders,

and to me, I thought it wasn't,too, at first.

But in fact, it was.

We smiled, we laughed, we did stupid things.

We are happy

=D

Dear, I'm sorry I've ever did something that hurt you.

I swear I will change. Sorry.

I love you, I always will.

This was last year Valentine's picture.

Update later after I got my pictures back

*winks*

Still Better to Be Alone

Today, as usual, they didn't show up to any lectures.
I started to suspect are they what I want for?
A crazy gang is great sometimes, when they're really crazy.

Though, overdose of drugs could actually cause fatal in your future.

We know that, obviously.

SO,

It's actually we're not in the same path or what?

We seem different all the way.

Recently, you guys seemed like boycotting someone.

And this 'someone' seemed like having a quite good relationship with me

*this is what you guys thought only.
I was really afraid that you guys will also group me as one of his.

Whatever ...

I seriously understand that something really cannot be forced to be.

I don't know what to say cause you guys are not telling me what you thought too.

Maybe this was all my crazy thoughts.

But feelings sometimes are true.

I do feel some distance between us already.

Anyway.

Thanks for the craziest memory I'd ever had in UTAR.

I think I'd better concentrate on my studies =)

And Sue,
I really hoped we could be best friends.

Hmph.

What I can say is just that

"Princess and Pauper could never be friends"

Forcing myself to live in a royal family is kinda hard for me.

From today onwards,

I'd rather be myself,

living pauper, feeling well.

It's Been A Tension

What does college life always meant to you?

I don't know what it is to you.

But to me, apparently it looks like you can do whatever you want.

And of course, without worries.

But it turns out that, I felt really stress out here.

Leaving alone doesn't mean freedom at all.

Although I am totally free, but I have no where to go out here in a village like hell.

So what's the point being free at home only?

I'm being sad lately,

except when there are several holidays going on

like CNY, Thaipusam, Nabi Muhammad's birthday.

Cause, I can fly back Penang to see my darling, that's where I belong to,

and where I found myself.

Things always get crossed.

Assignment period has come to my feet.

I may not enjoying this 5-days holidays well.

At least, I gotta prepare my public speaking speech.

It's completely a depressing issue to me.

I always hated to face stage fright I would give myself lots and lots o

f pressures until I burst out.

Haiz.

If and only if I have excellent English, I wouldn't have worrying all these.

It makes me look like an idiot jumping around this little public speaking

which,

I will often face it in the future even though in work.

What's the point of being nervous?

Everybody gets nervous all the time.

Those who has weaker English can also stand on the stage.

I realised, they are learning.

They are not ashame of what they have right now,

in fact,

they are proud of what they are learning right now.

At least, in the future, far far away from now,

they will be definitely better than now.

So. Add oil, girl.

You know,

there are many peoples waiting for you to achieve your goals.

and you know,

there is still somebody that really cares about you.

*Big smile to myself =D