Another Fight

Why do we have to fight like this every time?

I started the fight actually.

I am always the fire matcher.

Is it really my problem?

This isn't what I want.

It's still the same.

I asked for too much.

What is it on earth so hard for you guys to treat a lady like a lady?

I just want you to be more attentive

to care more about me.

Every time you say you love me

I really hope you mean it.

Cause you would throw me a glance like you're going to kill me.

It's scary.

You really freaked me out

Do you know that?

Maybe I was really wrong,

but you acted like I murdered your whole family.

Why?

It's hurt, I know

I get mad every time you get mad.

I follow.

I would have talk like crazy with sharp knife on my words

and stab your heart accidentally that I wouldn't know how much it really hurts.

I was just like this since forever, and I don't know why.

I am sorry.

Thousand apologies.

I repeated my mistake, as usual

Why am I always trying to protect but instead, I hurt somebody else that I care?

Am I really being childish that I can't control myself?

I just want your eyes to be on me.

I just wanted to be like a baby princess being held in the arms like a pearl

Yes, treat me like a precious pearl

And, yes, I think I am worth to be a pearl.

Every time you say you did a lot of things for me,

sorry, I can't see anything.

Define a lot please.

I tidied your house almost every day

I prepare drinking water every day just to keep you away from thirst

I buy fruits, cut, and even feed you with it

I hang your clothes every day

even I am in real tired mode

But you bring back sands every day

Throw your clothes all around the floor that I have to pick them up one by one

Turn on your computer and play the football game everyday

Playing with your 'turbo sports car'

and then you will remind me to full body massage you.

Sorry that I nag so much

Sorry that I complain so much

and sorry

I don't know what you actually done for me.

You would say

I bring you to breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day

I bring you to movie, club, KL, and every where

What else?

Sorry, I can just remember these.

Do you remember that day you went to the mini market for like 15 mins plus.

I waited for you in the car

and you showed up with a big plastic bag after 15mins plus

you said

"See what I bought for you !"

And then you started taking things out from the plastic bag one by one

"I bought you some biscuits, bread for your breakfast"

"A very big bottle of family use body shampoo"

"Toothpaste ! Remember we didn't brush for 2 days, Oh no ! Haha"

"And owh, herbal tea, to boost your every day"

Do you know how sweet you were?

I was just going to say how much I love you

and how much you are worth for my love

This is simple

This is just what I want every day

It just simply define "I did a lot of things for you"

Please, don't we quarrel anymore.

曲终人散

两个月多了

我们是真的分开了

虽然心里一直都在想你

但是 我清楚知道我们不可能了

虽然，也总是觉得在未来的日子里

我们也许还有机会

但是这个想法确实会伤害我们三个

要是我一直这样下去

我不会真正爱他

我也永远戒不掉对你的习惯

这样，

对你们都很不公平

我知道

我凭什么来拖着你们两个？

这两个月里

我几乎每天都在想

我这样的选择到底是对错

今天

我终于要对自己说

既然都做了决定就不应该后悔

不应该再犹豫了

大不了两个都不要

我不应该再想你了

不应该再常常把你挂在嘴边

不应该拿你出来做比较

我已经没有再依恋的借口

那一刻，我转身的时候

就不应该想再一次拉住你的手

那天，你的脸有几分憔悴

你的眼有残留的泪

我不会忘了

因为那是我造成的

要是我真的爱你，

就不该象过去那样用双手紧紧把你环绕

放你走

让你找到比我更适合你的

让你不再为我流泪

让另一个她把你遗失的笑容找回

曾经幸福的，痛苦的

该你的，该我的

到此一笔勾销

我是真的希望

你可以再一次

幸福的，开心的

对着我，笑...

我不会忘了我们曾经一起拥有的回忆

你永远会在我心底...

Fear from the Bottom of My Heart

I just don't know why.

You are now drinking.

I am supposed to believe in you.

But I am scared.

I don't trust you.

In other words, I don't trust those alcohols.

You were so drunk when I last saw you drinking with your cousins.

I don't know why guys life should be this way.

Drinking is like everything to y'all.

You knew you would do anything when you were drunk.

And, you would never know when you are going to be drunk.

You just gonna keep drinking until you don't know what you're doing.

How can I trust you?

I don't know why.

I feel like crying right now.

Tears filled my eyes.

I shouldn't be this skeptical.

If I keep being like this,

in the end you'll just gonna throw me away.

I just don't feel safe at all.

Seriously,

I hope you wouldn't hide anything from me.

But on the other hand,

I don't know how much I can take it.

My heart is soring.

I am not okay.

I cannot stop imagine the picture of you drinking with girls around.

I am so being a worried pity wife here.

And I super hate myself being like this.

Why?

I am worry, yea.

I am not feeling safe.

So?

I can't tell you.

I don't want to be a frightened little girl in front of you.

In fact, I am.

And I am pretending,

which suffer really a lot.

I don't know how to reply your message.

Cause you are acting like

"I am busy drinking, talk fast"

I was just gonna say,

"Please don't take any drugs, and be careful"

Do you know how hurt it is when your cousin asked you inside

and you just gonna cut the line immediately.

I was imagining, you're rushing back inside to sexy girls.

I know you would say

"Please don't think too much, please"

"Yes, I think a lot, that is because you didn't make me trust you"

Maybe yea, you love me,

but you'll just gonna do some mistake

How do you think those affairs come from?

You always show up in discos every time I am not with you

What's the problem actually?

Why so desperate?

You can say no if you want.

Remember:

"There's nothing about can or cannot, it's about you want it or not"

Frankly speaking

I am not trusting you.

Sorry.

Tetris Fight

It's funny .

We fight over tetris.

I don't know how it started.

But we just started to yell each other during the battle.

Maybe I randomly said something offended you

But I didn't mean it.

It's just a game !

Win or lose, so WHAT?

Are there any prizes?

That's what I'm gonna say.

I don't know why you felt like offended.

You just shouldn't be so rude to me.

I'll never forgot how the words came out from your lips.

It hurts.

The Gap 1822

How do I actually have to start this post.

I don't know.

I feel down.

We talked so many times.

Conclusion : We're not on the same side

You are way too matured.

I am the opposition.

Although I don't look like really 18.

But, somehow, I actually can be like 20.

Still, not 22.

Still, middle of 4 years.

Age gap. The severe problem of us.

Although you are 22. But you, too, don't look like one.

You are just more than that.

You always think I am naive.

You always think everything I do is a mistake.

You always try to correct me.

And these, made me feel so... *I can't find a word*

You are looking down at me.

and you know, I don't like it.

Anyway, you're right.

I am still in the life I used to live with.

Life with Hong.

Life like how he agreed everything I commented.

Agreed everything I was about to do.

It can't be denied that, he was a good supporter of mine.

I was too attached with this feeling.

I like to be hoped.

Like anything happen, I am the one that gonna solve things calmly.

I know, this is stress !

I complained before.

And now, I don't know why, I complain again.

Duh.

Why does life has to be this complicated?

I tried to explain how I really think about.

You just have your own opinion.

I just think you should have guided me.

You went thru this phase.

Maybe you should give in a little to me.

You should treat me like you used to be.

You know what?

I felt offended when you said,

"Hong has spoiled you, you'll never grow up if I spoil you like he did"

WTF?!

Spoil?

I doubt.

It was how sweet and you did not know a thing.

C'mon. He was just being caring.

Maybe we're just not in the same phase but you shouldn't say like this.

Everybody has their different kind of method to show love.

Everything we did for love is not considered a mistake.

It's what we did with feelings.

Maybe you will deny this sentence again

I guess you will say

"Feelings without rational is still not considered a thing"

"You should have thought wisely"

"You never know why when you're not at my phase even I explained hard"

I am thinking these problems.

Are we too fast.

There are these thoughts from friends

"Nothing about fast or not, just follow your feelings"

"Feelings always make the start"

"We're still young, why consider so much?"

Haih.

See?

This is what will happen when you did not consider.

What should I do now.

Feeling says : Don't leave him, you have feelings.

Rational says : You should take a break before you start a new relationship. Clear your minds before you gonna add in something new. At least your mind wouldn't be messed up.

Haih......