Goodbye. Farewell.

Just ended what I've been so protecting once upon a time.

Never felt regret as I think it's the only choice that I could make.

I didn't end it so irresponsible,

Instead,

We talked.

We discussed.

After all,

We can still be friend.

I think this is the macho part.

Where we still can be best friend.

I'm not gonna say

"Let's broke up, because I don't love you anymore"

That's super irresponsible.

What actually surprised me was,

I didn't cry.

I didn't respond when he says "I love you"

I can't feel a thing

*Sorry*

Maybe, it's really time,

it's what that should be done right now.

He acted sad at first.

He begged.

And then,

He laughed, starting to understand.

Perhaps, he might felt the same way I felt

We were just not suitable anymore

Being together will just suffer both of us.

I am glad, and pleasant

cause he finally actually understand the statement

I need not explain and explain again as usual

which is really annoying.

I found that he is sexy when he acted like a macho guy.

He says "Can we still be friend?"

"Are we still going to talk?"

I smiled.

"Of course we will."

All that ever held me back was always his family.

They were really like my family

and I really don't feel happy losing a family,

where I actually cherish, and appreciate.

I never wanted to lose them.

But, there's nothing I can do.

I can never be like going to their house and celebrate every events anymore.

Never going for road trips anymore.

Never be invited to any party anymore.

Yea, that's what that holding me back.

I don't want to lose them.

Still,

Everything follows.

I lost them, like forever.

Repeats

Never thought this would happen again.

Never thought I would be the one who is going to end this.

Never thought, this is what my decision

and I also never thought,

I didn't tears a bit.

Things never gone well since I studied here

and that was already one year and a half

We were always so suffered

I mean,

Me, especially me

I suffered

And,

Things never gone well since you started your career.

You changed

and, I can't accept the fact.

You went so different ever since you worked.

We, went differently, too

You never thought of me anymore.

You never remember me.

You never remember what I said even you were just so near

Distance is not the problem.

We travelled 2 hours to meet each other whenever we can

Ahem, I mean, last time

but not now

You are not anymore I know the most

You are so strange to me right now

I never gonna understand you anymore.

I don't know what happened,

I tried to save

I tried so much to maintain everything that is needed

I know distance is hard

and that's why,

I've been called like a "kid" that always needed you to accompany.

This is the problem that's been in between us

You chose, you made your decision,

you chose your stupid job over me

and now, I made my own choice too,

I chose the one that could take care of me and really treat me like a lady.

I know,

It is my fault,

it's always my fault when I chose to let go

我是女孩。

我希望有人疼爱，有人包容，有人让我撒娇

有人能陪在我身边，有人喜欢带我去逛街，

有人乐意带我去世界各地也在所不辞

我是女孩，

我希望有人记得每天和我说晚安

有人记得我们过去的点滴

有人决不把承诺作儿戏。

我是女孩，

希望有人好好爱我，有人惦记我，在我郁闷大哭的时候把我的头按在胸膛里。

I am just so normal.

I am just so needed to be cared.

I am just so simple.

I am just a girl, who needs love.

I FAILED

I am so going to remember this result FOREVER.

I seriously damaged inside when I saw this stupid sheet of result.

Never failed before

This is the first time in my lifetime on the first semester of my degree

I feel so ashame right now

But nothing's gonna change the fact that I failed

I was not going to accept the reality before I view my result from portal.

Acted like a total freak

Avoiding from UTAR website

Purpose : Hope for something good

Yes, you can say that I actually estimated failure

No, I still hope for the good side, maybe something that surprise me

But, in the end, I failed.

I stunned in front of my computer for 10mins ++

I barely move

Just keep my eyes on the computer screen

Crazily hoping for it to change

It doesn't

It remained the same during that 10mins

And it's clearly a fact that even how much I wouldn't want to know

What am I gonna do right now?

For the first time I've ever failed any subjects

I really don't know what I should do right now

Feels hurt deep down in my heart

Feels guilty, too.

I should have done better !

I shouldn't have taken this kind of result where no A+ appears

Wonder when will I actually realize I've been gone for so long

I've changed

No longer that secondary one

Craving for As

Instead, I am hoping for a C

I mean, what's wrong with me !

What have gone to my mind?

Have I gone insane?

The result is my future man

You don't really have much money to fail like this

You can't afford the failure

Never !

How is your mother going to pay an extra RM1600++ for you to repeat your mistake?

Think seriously,

You've been acted so richy since you've gone to uni

That's all?

Are you really a rich one?

Haiz

What am I gonna do?

*STUNNED AGAIN*

PLAN YOUR SCHEDULE !

YOU IDIOT !

Admire

I always admire those gorgeous, intelligent and very powerful women

I mean girls, but it don't look powerful when I say powerful girls.

Girls are mean to be like gossip

Never a gossip woman huh?

Xiaxue is one of my admired idols

I always wanted to be like her

Travel over countries

Even social over the world

Know a lot of awesome people

She is fantastic

I really really hope I could be like her

Earning by only blogging

Then you can have flexible time to do whatever you want

and in the meantime you're earning US dollar.

I can't think of what kind of job can be like this if it is not by blogging

I am sucks

I can't even actually post up my pictures

Even don't have perfect camera to capture those perfect scene

I always wanted to buy a DSLR

I even wanted to be a photographer

Uhm, I mean a part time one

I have loads of mission to be done

Yet, I am stucked in a university

Cause I don't have money

Shortcut to be wealthy : Study degree and get master

Is it possible?

Still in question that has no solution.

How bad it is.

One thing of me is, lazy.

Being a famous, I mean a person that is favorable to anyone else

Is, you have to be really hardwork

Plus, gifted intelligent

I don't have gifted intelligent

And I am lazy

How to be a successful woman then?

Crap !

I was with a friend called Sue Lyn once awhile

She is the type like xiaxue

Sociable, interesting, favorable, knowledgeable

She often shares her experience to peoples around her

and peoples always find that interesting

This is what hard to achieve

I never gonna be favorable :(

How sad.

Sob

Somebody admire me pleaseee.

Twitter Beginner

Just signed up an account in twitter

As what my friend Kalvyn introduced,

"Twitter is like you can have everything you want, it's super duper fun, go play go play !"

I think he means, you can post anything you want?

*Skeptical eyes*

HAHAs

I started to feel curious about what he said earlier

and went to create one

I am way too noob to explore something new

The functions, those posts, follows and etc.

But cannot be denied that twitter is easier than facebook

So it's actually better than you just going to start facebook

I think this is why twitter is popular

that they even promoted in Grey's Anatomy

where Dr.Bailey used twitter to post her surgeries.

Anyway, still discovering it's max function :D

HAPPY TWITTER-DISCOVER TO MYSELF :D

https://twitter.com/#!/ARIEL_YEN

My twitter account

Follow me :)