The Gap 1822

How do I actually have to start this post.

I don't know.

I feel down.

We talked so many times.

Conclusion : We're not on the same side

You are way too matured.

I am the opposition.

Although I don't look like really 18.

But, somehow, I actually can be like 20.

Still, not 22.

Still, middle of 4 years.

Age gap. The severe problem of us.

Although you are 22. But you, too, don't look like one.

You are just more than that.

You always think I am naive.

You always think everything I do is a mistake.

You always try to correct me.

And these, made me feel so... *I can't find a word*

You are looking down at me.

and you know, I don't like it.

Anyway, you're right.

I am still in the life I used to live with.

Life with Hong.

Life like how he agreed everything I commented.

Agreed everything I was about to do.

It can't be denied that, he was a good supporter of mine.

I was too attached with this feeling.

I like to be hoped.

Like anything happen, I am the one that gonna solve things calmly.

I know, this is stress !

I complained before.

And now, I don't know why, I complain again.

Duh.

Why does life has to be this complicated?

I tried to explain how I really think about.

You just have your own opinion.

I just think you should have guided me.

You went thru this phase.

Maybe you should give in a little to me.

You should treat me like you used to be.

You know what?

I felt offended when you said,

"Hong has spoiled you, you'll never grow up if I spoil you like he did"

WTF?!

Spoil?

I doubt.

It was how sweet and you did not know a thing.

C'mon. He was just being caring.

Maybe we're just not in the same phase but you shouldn't say like this.

Everybody has their different kind of method to show love.

Everything we did for love is not considered a mistake.

It's what we did with feelings.

Maybe you will deny this sentence again

I guess you will say

"Feelings without rational is still not considered a thing"

"You should have thought wisely"

"You never know why when you're not at my phase even I explained hard"

I am thinking these problems.

Are we too fast.

There are these thoughts from friends

"Nothing about fast or not, just follow your feelings"

"Feelings always make the start"

"We're still young, why consider so much?"

Haih.

See?

This is what will happen when you did not consider.

What should I do now.

Feeling says : Don't leave him, you have feelings.

Rational says : You should take a break before you start a new relationship. Clear your minds before you gonna add in something new. At least your mind wouldn't be messed up.

Haih......